The newest coat arrived a few days after it was ordered. It fit and looked OK. I didn't really love it though. I wanted a coat I could love. I put the receipt and packing slip in a zippered pocket and hung it up. The weather hasn't been very cold and the parka I found in the back of the closet seemed to suit my needs. After two weeks of not finding an occasion to wear it I decided to return it to the store. I figured there were other things I could buy with the money.
Trying clothes on in the store has never been my favorite thing. My whole life has been filled with negative experiences in these little cubicles. I especially hate trying on warm fall clothes when the temperature outside is 102! In a humid climate like ours AC doesn't stop you from sweating when you are squeezing into an outfit meant for a brisk fall day. My teenage years were marred by the trauma of trying to find fashionable clothing when anything larger than a 16 were "half sizes" that looked like cutting edge style for short Italian widows. I'd done a lot of crying in store dressing rooms during those years.
Well today as I tried on my jeans I typically held my breath as I pulled up the zipper. I found I didn't even struggle as I zipped. They fit easily and looked nice. I tried on the sweater next and thought I had chosen well. I saw that I was smiling back at myself in the mirror.
I'd often poured myself into jeans during my younger days. My tried and true technique was to lay on my bed and inhale while I pulled up the zipper. I found my belly seemed to collapse into itself in the recumbent position. Getting up off the bed was challenging but sometimes one needs to work at looking good. I also discovered that jeans stretched out a little as I wore them. After a few days I no longer needed to lie down to get them on. I'd wear them as long as I could knowing that after laundering I'd be in for a struggle again.
I went to the gym today after my shopping and found it more crowded than usual during the daytime. Lots of kids were off from school today and many showed up at Planet Fitness. I've tweaked my weight training routine a little. A friend who does a lot of weight training told me that our bodies adjust to our activities and after a while we don't get as much benefit from the workout. Its important to have new challenges and work different sets of muscles. I've changed my biceps curls to hammer curls and traded triceps presses for triceps extensions. I keep hearing that I look thinner yet my weight has not changed. Hopefully that means greater tone.
My lack of momentum in the weight loss area has caused me to renew my efforts in logging what I consume on myfitnesspal.com. I tend to drift toward old, bad habits very easily. As a former smoker I found for many years that if I spied a discarded, barely used cigarette on the ground I'd think about picking it up. As hideously revolting as that sounds my brain still wanted that nicotine bad enough to ignore the obvious negatives in the situation. Likewise the other day someone had dropped an M&M on the sidewalk near the gym. With nobody nearby the five second rule had definitely been exceeded. It looked up at me with its shiny yellow candy coat intact and said "eat me". I did not bend and pick it up yet I marveled at my desire in contrast to the revulsion I should have felt.
Lady Liberty here is a walking advertisement and I thought he sums up my day. Making healthy choices liberated me from my prison of fat. I have more freedom than I have had in many years.
Love to all,
Marlena of Mohegan.
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