Its Resolution Time Again!

Christmas 2011 has come and gone.  Last year I wanted to reach the goal of 100 lbs lost and I made it.  This year I've lost another 73 lbs.  I did not really have a specific goal in mind for this year but I did want to securely break through the plateau I've been at all through the autumn months.  I'm not so sure its completely behind me yet but I will continue striving to leave it in the dust.

A friend I know from work had a gastric bypass right before Thanksgiving.  She is back to work now and looks great!  She's down 30 pounds.  She said she kept away from people around Thanksgiving and still feels somewhat awkward around holiday foodfests.  I have to say that I no longer feel out of place at the family holiday table or anywhere else.  I can eat most of what everyone else eats with a few exceptions.  I've just adjusted to my plate having tiny portions of everything. I don't touch the desserts and really don't miss them.  I did eat a few Christmas cookies and had about 5 or 6 Hershey Kisses. (I actually claimed to one friend that I did not eat one piece of candy all season but I'd forgotten about those kisses.) I was worried that I might have gained yet I was hearing people tell me I looked thinner.  Well, the scale told me I was down another two pounds!

I went back to the gym this week after taking a hectic Christmas week off.  I enjoyed the relative peace at the gym because very few people were there.  Next week starts the New Year's resolution onslaught.  In January the gyms are crowded to the max.  You can't find a parking space or a vacant machine.  I saw a commercial tonight for Weight Watchers new campaign for male members.  Former NBA All-star Charles Barkley, who has struggled with weight issues, is the spokesperson.  This is a new direction for WW as mostly women show up at the meetings.

One of my friends has vowed to lose 100 lbs this year.  We had an interesting conversation about setting goals.  This friend sets finite goals with specific details about daily, weekly and monthly progress.  I was less than enthusiastic of this method because I feel that once the big goal is reached then behavior reverts to previous bad habits. My friend has a solution for this.  About a month shy of the set goal, a NEW goal is set continuing the reason to keep working.  This, to my friend, is better than perpetual lack of indulgences.  What ever works for you, I'm happy to be supportive.

In my earlier life I've given up smoking, drinking alcohol, tea and coffee.  I've always felt that those were easier to do without than certain foods.  One either is or is not a smoker.  The same applies to alcohol, caffeinated drinks and for that matter, recreational drugs.  While the latter was never a problem for me it certainly is for lots of people. I feel I've made permanent lifestyle changes that I will keep doing and don't plan on stopping anything when I get to a certain point. I really don't need desserts. I can have a sugar-free pudding or popsicle and be fine! (I really like that they've started printing calorie count on restaurant dessert menus. That way I know just how much I'm resisting.)

 I can't forget how miserable I was before my weight loss surgery.  I am back to shopping for clothes in regular stores instead of plus-size shops.  I'm no fashionista but at least I don't need Omar the Tentmaker anymore!

Happy New Year!
Love to all,
Marlena of Mohegan

Merry Christmas to All and to All a Good Night!

Baby Its Cold Outside

As we're halfway through December I'm already ready for spring. One morning as I was scraping ice off my windshield the temperature was 22.  Anyone familiar with the northeast knows that 22 degrees is nowhere near the bottom of the winter weather spectrum.  BRRRRRR!

We've been in our house for 23 years now.  We have a steam boiler heating system and our bedroom is directly over the furnace.  The first time the heat came on we found that our room became extremely hot and stuffy.  I hate to sleep in a room that is too hot and so we turned the radiator off.  Since that time we've never opened it up again and used an electric blanket  coldest weather.  I don't like sleeping with a lot of clothing either and through the years no matter what I weighed I managed to be comfortable.  We've gone through a lot of electric blankets over the years.  In addition when the heat is turned off in our room it distributes to the rest of the house more evenly.

This year I can't take it anymore.  I have been wearing sweats and socks to bed.  Even with the blanket set at nuclear level it has taken me a while to get comfortable.  I've been so cold that one night my husband, not so discreetly, made a little wall with the blankets between us so my cold wouldn't rub off on him.  I finally decided to open up the valve of the radiator.  My husband asked if I thought it was the weight loss that made the difference.  Well, yeah.  170 pounds of insulation makes a huge difference!

I used to think that being cold burned more calories.  It makes sense, right?  You need fuel to make heat.  I read that mountain climbers in the Himalayas or explorers in Antarctica have to eat 5000 calories a day to prevent losing muscle tissue.  Surely that should translate into more calories burned if the thermostat is set at 60 degrees in our house in the winter.  Well through the years I haven't noticed anyone in our home looking too lean in the cold months.  So much for theoretical dieting.

I have given away all my old winter coats because they were too big.  I refuse to buy a new coat before Christmas when I know they'll be on sale the day after.  So in the meantime I'm dressing in layers.  Lots of layers.

My husband couldn't be happier when I gave away my brown microsuede parka.  That coat was a bit of a menace.  It had lots of pockets, drawstrings and flaps. It was soft and very warm but I was always getting caught on things with it.  TWICE I got a flap caught on my turn signal in my Buick snapping the thing off completely.  Now I was much bigger back then and squeezing into the driver's seat was difficult. But this coat just was out of control.  The second time I broke it I didn't even want to go home and face my husband's anger.  The repair was about three hundred dollars each time and I had to rent a car as well.

Another time the coat turned me into a shoplifter!  I went to a pharmacy to pick up a prescription for my mother in law.  When I got out of the car at home I noticed that caught on one of the dangling strings was a pegboard rod with about six Chapsticks hanging from it.  There was a display under the counter at the pharmacy and my coat stole the whole row!  I was way too embarrassed to go back to the store and explain.

When I go to the gym I usually do my weight training first and then the stationary bike.  The week that I went five times I only did the weights three of those days.  I found if I go straight to the bike from the outside my hands are so cold that the sensors on the handlebars don't pick up my pulse.  I have to ride for a while on manual before I can set it to cardio which monitors the pulse and changes the resistance to maintain the target rate.  If I do the weights first I get warmed up sufficiently.

So it looks like it's gonna be a long, long winter. No matter what anyone says I'm not buying the global warming thing until I see palm trees growing in New York.

Love to all,
Marlena of Mohegan

A Little Obsession is Good For You

I've been working very hard this week on breaking through my latest plateau.  I normally go to the gym three days per week for my stationary bike and weight training.  This week I went five days in a row.  I do 23 miles in an hour each time.  So instead of my normal 70 miles a week I did 115.  I continued the weight training every other day.  Previous weeks I tried to keep my pedometer reading over 7000 steps per day by my normal activities supplemented by walking either at the track or around my neighborhood.  When it rained I walked at the mall.  When the weather is stormy my knees tend to protest all that impact.  The cycling is better. Besides 60 minutes of cycling gives me 10,000 steps or more.

 I am determined to continue my weight loss.  I refuse to let go of my momentum.  Am I obsessed?  Maybe. In a good way.  Really.

Several individuals in  my family tend toward obsessiveness.  My husband says he's not truly obsessive he just gets a lot accomplished.  He wishes I'd get obsessed about things like laundry or balancing my checkbook.  It makes him crazy that if I can't find something I don't tear the house apart looking like he does.  My attitude is that it will turn up.  Often if I try to think about something else the location of the lost item will pop into my head.  I feel that frantic searching creates negative energy that blocks the brain.

On the other hand I find it irritating that he insists on rearranging the dish cupboard after I've put dishes away.  When we first got married I tried to make his lunch for him to take to work.  He preferred to make his own sandwiches because mine had too much stuff on them.  He ate a bologna sandwich with only one slice of meat and plain yellow mustard on wheat bread every day for years.  Recently he made the switch to turkey because its healthier.  He's also very particular about the way he mows our lawn or shovels snow.  He gives our kids a hard time if they don't do the yard jobs his way.  (Although I could see his point when one of the kids mowed his name in the grass).  I mentioned these behaviors to my psychiatrist once.  He told me that these things aren't pathological just annoying to live with.

I've tried my whole life to avoid regimented behavior.  I enjoy being spontaneous.  I like that my daily commute goes in the opposite direction of the main flow of traffic.  Of course the fact that I DO commute shows that I'm not really as bohemian as I'd like to be.  Raising a family required some routines.  My husband is an early riser and I'm a night owl.  In spite of that I've worked the day shift for 27 years.  When you love somebody you adjust.

A friend complimented me the other day because he wishes he could sustain the behavior necessary to lose his excess pounds.  He doesn't know how I've kept focused for this long.  I just know that I must continue this attitude for the rest of my life.  I do not plan to reach a goal and the battle is over.  I've made a lifestyle change that must be permanent.  

My voice teacher wrote a book "Singing in Your Sleep" about developing obsessive behaviors that will lead to success as a professional opera singer.  He was telling me at my lesson the other day that when he was learning to sing he was afraid to go to sleep without repeating and perfecting a skill he had learned that day.  He thought he'd forget it during night otherwise.  He tells me that I've never learned to practice this way because I sing for my own enjoyment rather than for a career.  He's right of course.  

Obsessive compulsive disorder has probably been responsible for a lot of scientific and artistic achievements through history.  Overcoming repeated failures or rejections have produced useful technology, literature, music, architecture and discovery.  

Of course, there are limits.  When obsessiveness becomes so time consuming that normal living is impaired then professional help is necessary.  If you insist on washing your hands till they're raw, its a problem. 

 On the other hand, I really do need to start balancing the checkbook.

Love to all, 

Marlena of Mohegan

Somebody Please TURN THE PAGE!

I'm getting a little tired of losing the same five pounds.  My weight loss graph has been zig-zagging up and down for the past six weeks.  When I look at the graph for the past 18 months it's really not as bad as it seems.  I keep having to get out a picture of me before my surgery to remind myself that I've come a long way from where I was.  Still, it gets frustrating.

At work today I had one of those days that make me struggle to remember why I wanted to be a nurse.  Was it so little old ladies could spit at me or slap me?  Did I foresee a certain passive-aggressive son reminding me that I had to take off his mother's underwear before I put her on the commode?  Then there was the woman who swore there was a tube stuck up in her ass and I'd better get it the hell out of there if I knew what was good for me.

So on this dreary, rainy day where very little went right, I did not try to make myself feel better by eating something chocolate.  I did not lay on the couch and feel sorry for myself.  I went to the gym instead.  Even though I don't usually go two days in a row I felt like I needed to be there.  I listened to my latest mix of motivational heavy metal tunes and peddled into sweaty oblivion.  It worked.  I feel better.

As Scarlett O'Hara famously said "Tomorrow is another day".  And so it is.  Maybe I'll just have nice patients tomorrow.





Or maybe pigs will fly.

Love to all,
Marlena of Mohegan

Obey Gravity, Its the Law

My husband came across an old DVD the other day that his brother had given us.  On it was video from Christmas 2000 and 2004.  Now we are not one of those families who records every event for posterity.  We've never even owned a video camera so seeing ourselves on screen is rare.

I can't tell you what I weighed eleven years ago but it was definitely more than I weigh now.  I could tell though, from the way I was moving around, that my physical health and mobility had not yet deteriorated to the state I was in before my surgery.  My husband did not remember that I was so big back then.  I know I had decided at one point that I was not going to do any more dieting since every weight loss was followed by a gain of what I'd lost plus more.  Staying the same, however, is not what happened.  My body was stressed in many ways until I developed serious health problems.

All of us had changed since that footage was filmed.  My kids were still in their teens.  The adults were less wrinkled and had fewer gray hairs.  We tend to forget that we are constantly morphing even if the process is too slow for us to notice.  Check out this link my friend Dan Simpson made about gravitational pull.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnxyZubbBGA&feature=email

Gravity never quits (unless, of course, you are an astronaut) so that body parts do not always remain where they once were.  When my daughter was about six years old she told me "Grandma says if you wore a girdle you wouldn't look so fat".  (She still isn't very good at keeping secrets)  My mother vehemently denied that she uttered that statement.  Nevertheless, the thought was back in the 50's and 60's was to wear sturdy undergarments to avoid looking "sloppy"  My feeling for girdles was that it might hold you in but the fat had to go somewhere.  The term "muffin top" wouldn't be invented till the 21st century but believe me, they existed before.  Since so many of my generation burned their bras the girdle didn't stand a chance.  Spandex has come in and out of vogue.  Hemlines go up and down.  No matter what happens with styles there is just so much that you can conceal.  My philosophy is that you aren't fooling anybody.

Hair is another matter.  We want more hair where there is not enough yet we grow abundant unwanted hair in other places.  This is yet another example of how we always want what we can't have.  Americans seem more concerned with this problem than the rest of the world.  Are European women shaving their armpits these days?  Do men in other countries get their eyebrows waxed?  There are so many products to get hair to ignore it's own better judgement and act like someone else's.  I've had a few perms in my life but now my hair curls like a perm all by itself. When I was younger my mother sometimes would ask me if I forgot to comb my hair.  These days people spend lots of time and money to make themselves LOOK like they forgot.  I'm inclined to think it would be better to just stay in bed a little longer and do the bed-head look for real!

Whether or not you believe in an afterlife we are all one day closer today than we were yesterday.  Healthy choices can push the inevitable further into the future and make our time here more enjoyable.

Love to all,
Marlena of Mohegan

Tis the Season

Well, its that time of year again.  The annual salute to gluttony has arrived.  I'm not opposed to the American tradition of giving thanks for our blessings on a Thursday in November.  The thankful part has been overshadowed by overconsumption and corporate greed.  I went to a nearby mall last weekend ( I rarely need to go there anymore)  Thanksgiving was barely apparent as most of the and merchandise decorations  were Christmas themed.  My senses were assaulted by holiday goodies.  Oh the festive Godiva chocolate boxes, the cookies and cakes were on display everywhere.  I wanted them.  I could almost taste them.  I resisted.

At the hospital where I work it's still Thanksgiving season.  We have two robots that deliver supplies and they are dressed up as turkeys with pilgrim hats.  I'll be working on the holiday which gets me out of the kitchen!  Yay!  My hubby will be cooking our turkey but he was a cook when he was in the Navy so dinner for ten people is no big deal.  I'm brining the turkey today.  Soaking overnight in brine makes the bird more juicy and flavorful.  I'll be making the stuffing tonight so all he has to do is stuff it in.  (My family prefers the stuffing be in the bird).  My personal secret ingredient for my stuffing is fennel bulb chopped up like celery.  I also put in browned bulk sausage.  

After I get the turkey in the brine this morning I'm off to the gym.  Planet Fitness has abbreviated hours for the holiday weekend but I'll get there today and on Black Friday.  While everyone is busting down the doors to Walmart and Target I'll be sweating on the stationary bike.  Some stores are opening on Thursday night because they can't wait for Friday.  Now I understand that the economic climate has been grim.  I have to work on Thanksgiving because that's what nurses always do.  However, a deal on a flat-screen TV or an electronic game can wait for Friday.  Let workers have the time with their families to overeat and watch football.

I have much to be thankful for this year.  I'm so happy to be healthier than I have been in years. Thanks to all my doctors for getting me here.  I have wonderful children and grandchildren.  I have a loving husband and a place to live.  My mom has reached the age of 80 and is still a vital part of my life.  We often forget that there are so many millions in the world who have so much less than we do here in the USA.  Some have forgotten why this country was founded and have brought about changes that take away some of our hard-fought freedoms.  Some feel that our nation is no longer great.  In spite of that there are thousands who struggle to get to this country.  We would not have an illegal immigration problem if there was nothing worth coming here for.  I'm thankful I was lucky enough to be born here.

I hope my readers will enjoy the holiday with their families.

Love to all,

Marlena of Mohegan

Stretch my WHAT?

Today I went to my first yoga class.  I had to overcome the derisive laughs from certain family members who thought I'd never get up early on Saturday morning to go to a class at 8:00 a.m.  Granted that scenario is a bit of a stretch for me (pun intended).  As I mentioned previously I have been reading up on the subject in "Yoga For Dummies".  I had a lot of success with the chapter on relaxation as it put me soundly to sleep.  I figured I needed more supervision for the more physical aspects.  Fortunately a friend who teaches yoga graciously invited me as a guest to her class.  It was a great opportunity I didn't want to pass up.  

I needed to buy a yoga mat for the class.  Walmart had a skinny one for ten dollars and a cushier one for twenty.    I opted for cushy as I expected any kneeling would be painful otherwise.  No other equipment was needed so I was all set.  

 I had hoped to slip in discreetly in the rear of the room but found that only spots up front were available.  I had several personal concerns:

1. my general lack of coordination 

2. creaky joints

3. accidental flatulence.  

There were about eight other members of the class all but one were female.  None of the others were close to my size but I've been the biggest in a room many times and this did not concern me.  The class began with some breathing exercises.  Relaxation at 8:00 am is not too difficult however getting my brain to slow down is something else.  The first challenge was to find a comfortable position on the floor.  Mat or no mat I found that only sitting with my legs out straight was pain-free.  Everyone else was sitting more or less with legs crossed.  When I was a child this was called Indian position.  In these "politically correct" times I'm told that this is called the pretzel position.  

The breathing exercises were led with commands to lengthen body parts that I didn't realize I had any control over.  We slowly were instructed to move in certain poses.  Thinking I was interpreting everything accurately I would glance around and find that my body positions were nowhere near what my classmates were doing.  I did not hear anyone else grunting or creaking like I was.  Some of the standing positions found me very wobbly.  I later found that the thicker yoga mat is more apt to cause this than the skinny one.  

  I was surprised to find that one position was called "Mountain Warrior".  Yoga ways are supposed to be peaceful and serene.  The "Cobra" didn't produce serene images to my mind either (especially since I found it  completely impossible to do.)  I was more comfortable as a "Sphinx" however.  

At the end of the class we spent some time with relaxation exercises.  I survived the hour without embarrassing myself.  (A big relief that I didn't have any of #3 on my list of concerns).  I felt good about the whole experience but I want to find a class with beginners like me. 

Yoga is the complete opposite from my heavy metal-themed-frantic peddling on the stationary bike.  I don't yet understand how this slow stretching can produce fitness.  I guess I'll need a couple of more classes to figure that out.  

Love to all, 

Marlena of Mohegan

Hello from Times Square

Here I am in Times Square, New York City.  Notice that I am wearing jeans.  True they're baggy mom jeans but that's just fine with me.  Last week I went with my grandson Lorenzo and his parents to the Central Park Zoo and Times Square.  He went on his first train ride and also his first trip to Hooters!  (I didn't pick the restaurant by the way.) Actually Hooters had fish tacos that were very tasty and high in protein.   This photo shows me fulfilling two of my goals of my weight loss surgery.  I hadn't worn jeans for about ten years and wanted to be able to enjoy walking in NY City.  We had a great time.  One of my knees got a little sore but I had more steps in half a day in the city than I usually get in an hour on the exercise bike at Planet Fitness.  It was a perfect day.  Not too warm or too cold.   and the zoo was not crowded.  

The next two days I couldn't get to the gym because work and family events took up all the time that the gym was open.  They close at  10 pm on Friday and 7 pm on Saturday.  I was planning to go on Sunday which I rarely do but I didn't want to let too much time pass between visits.  I need to keep my metabolism cooking!  Well while I was getting ready to go I started having lower abdominal pain.  It became really intense and I thought I might have had appendicitis.  Well hours later after lab tests and a CAT scan I was told that it was probably a small kidney stone.  The scan didn't actually find it but the lab tests were consistent with a stone.  So it must have passed before I had the scan.  I felt really awful for a while there but I was very annoyed that I was not going to get to the gym AGAIN!  I told my daughter this and she asked "Do you hear yourself?"  I had to admit that she was right.  I was in no shape for exercise.  

Well I got to the gym today and I feel fine now.  The ER doctor gave me a note for two days off of work but I feel good enough to go back tomorrow.  I decided though that probably I should watch my fluid intake more carefully.  Most people don't drink enough fluid and I tend to drink less fluid at work because I don't want to make too many trips to the bathroom during the day.  Keeping my kidneys flushed  should help prevent another stone.  One was enough! 

Love to all, 

Marlena of Mohegan

Am I Getting Addicted to Endorphins?

Autumn in the NY metropolitan area is now nearly snow-free and glowing with beautiful foliage.  The freak snow-storm is just a memory.  Some people just got their power back yesterday so the recovery process is still underway.  Life in the ER is now back to the usual state.

On Monday I had a patient who became belligerent and threatening.  The situation could have escalated to violence and and I was unable to diffuse his anger on my own.  I felt pretty upset by all this even though I've certainly experienced this type of individual many times in my career.  During the most stressful moments I found myself thinking about going to the gym later that night and working out to my hard rock and heavy metal tunes.  Indeed that night I did feel better when I was peddling away on the stationary bike.  My psychiatrist told me when I was starting to enjoy the exercise that the endorphins can be addicting.  

 I've been downloading a lot of rock and roll from Itunes.  I have real hard-driving tunes from Boston, Def Leppard, Lynyrd Skynyrd, George Thorogood, Aerosmith, AC/DC, Guns N' Roses, Grand Funk,  Van Halen, Rush , Twisted Sister and other classic rockers.  Also newer stuff from Lady Gaga, Katy Perry and Enrique Iglesias.  Then there are my classic girl rockers like Joan Jett, Pat Benatar, Blondie, Eurythmics, The Go-Go's , Kim Carnes and Laura Branigan.  The motivation is awesome and the distraction from my stressors is worth every drop of sweat (and there's a lot of that).  

So is it endorphins that keep me going to the gym?

  Who knows?

  Who cares?  

Love to all, 

Marlena of Mohegan

Global WARMING????

This past week was a real challenge on many levels.  On October 29th we had an unprecedented freak snowstorm.  About a foot of snow fell on us!  The NY tristate area has only had major snow in October three times since 1888!  Since our beautiful autumn foliage had not even fallen off the trees yet and the snow was wet and heavy the impact was enormous.  Downed trees blocked roads, tore down electric wires, crushed homes and vehicles.  A week later thousands are still without power.  Some schools have been closed all week due to electricity outages or inaccessibility.  Some school districts have nearly depleted their allowance of snow days before winter has even begun.

In the ER we have seen dozens of victims of carbon monoxide poisoning from improperly vented generators or people using barbecue grills indoors.  Several people in the area died from the carbon monoxide. Since many of the suburban areas rely on well water homes without electricity also do not have running water because the well pumps need the juice.

Our family was lucky enough not to lose power.  Our lights dimmed a few times during the storm but stayed on. We had a lot of branches down in the neighborhood but no significant damages. The night before the storm we had our technical rehearsal for the opera scheduled for the next night.  Our director assured us that the show would go on so we were warned to do whatever we had to do to make sure we were at the theater.

The snow warnings were so incredible we didn't really believe we would get twelve inches of snow in October.  So three hours before call I set out for the theater.  Since I'd had four brand new tires put on my car the week before I felt ready for anything.  The roads were a horror.  There were spun-out cars everywhere.  Traffic was stopped dead on the parkway here and there because of cars sliding out of control.  There were downed trees and electric wires across roadways.  My new tires kept me from skidding but driving was tricky because of other vehicles with difficulty navigating the hazards.  I reached the theater unscathed just as my cell phone rang and was told the show was cancelled.  Local law enforcement had declared that the roads were closed to non-emergency vehicles.  So I turned toward home to battle the roads again.  The ride home was slow but less cars were on the roads by then so the ride was easier.

Impact to the ER was huge all week due to the usual snow related injuries, doctors offices with no power and  people needing support services.  Halloween was cancelled by the governor of Connecticut because it was unsafe for the children to be out with all the downed wires.  A week later those still without power have long ago lost their patience.  Electrical workers from out of state have come to help.  Convoys of bucket trucks are out every day and night.

On a personal level, I did miss out on the gym for a couple of days.  I let myself get into "survival mode" and did a little too much snacking.  I finally got on the scale yesterday and found I'm up two pounds.  I am not panicking however.  I've been tying to increase my protein.  I've been having instant oatmeal for breakfast because of the cold weather.  I realized that I could add protein powder to the oatmeal!  I'm experimenting now with ingredients to find just the right flavor.

Halloween went on as scheduled in our neighborhood.  What used to be a major chocolate overload passed without so much as an M&M passing my lips.  Thanksgiving is the next feeding frenzy to face.  I'll be working that day so I won't be cooking which will save me the calories I might nibble to taste what I'm preparing.  Our opera is rescheduled for December 3rd.  Meanwhile we await the real winter to begin.

Love to all,
Marlena of Mohegan

Einstein Was On To Something

Ever notice how time goes faster or slower depending on your situation? For instance, the week before your vacation goes a lot slower than the actual vacation.  After the alarm rings in the morning those minutes speed up mercilessly.

 We learn from childhood that time is a constant.  Indeed our standard time zones came about in the 1800's in order to keep the railroads on schedule.  Just think. If everyone used the sun being directly overhead as noon then two trains might mistakenly be on the same track at the same actual time with catastrophic results.  So we have clocks everywhere and we are all theoretically synchronized.  That being said, in my experience time is extremely flexible.

When you were a kid didn't it seem like the year between Christmases took forever?  Summer seemed long in June but very short in August.  I remember watching the clock at school wishing it would get toward lunch time faster.  My fifth grade teacher used to give us timed quizzes and we all watched the clock for the minute hand to move so we'd all start together.  He would always point out how staring at the clock made the minute seem longer.

I'd wish for my birthday to come quickly and my mother would say "don't wish your life away".  She knew what she was talking about.  The days when my children were small seemed long at the time but in retrospect they flew by.  Of course as a parent it doesn't seem quite fair that sweet baby years are so few when compared with the SEVEN YEARS of being teens.  (At least we don't have to change their diapers during that phase of life.)  Probably since the world began parents have been telling their kids to enjoy childhood while it lasts and that the years go faster when your older.  Kids never believe this until they find out for themselves.  Children want to be older, bigger and independent.  

Einstein theorized that if we traveled at the speed of light then time would stand still.  After our voyage those back home would have aged in the meantime.  (Funny how that never happened on Star Trek though.)  So Einstein knew that time was flexible or to use his term "relative".

Humans have manipulated time into zones but we also have invented "daylight savings time".   Originally adopted during wartime to increase factory output during daylight hours we now use the excuse that it saves energy.  Long lauded by industrialists but disdained by farmers (whose animals stubbornly refuse to cooperate) the clocks change in spring and fall.  We love the extra hour of sleep in the autumn but hate losing an hour in April.  Personally I just hate waking up in the dark.  I remember the first time my mother woke me before dawn for school.  I thought she was confused.  Why was I awake when it was still night?  I've never gotten over it.  Instead of moving the clocks why don't we just start working later in the day?  It seems much more logical.

In the autumn the days get shorter as the weather turns cooler.  This change in the light is a signal to wildlife to stock up for winter.  Some mammals stow away nuts and acorns to tide them through the cold months.  Others build up extra layers of fat as insulation and prepare to hibernate.  These behaviors are evident in humans as well.  We crave comfort food and tend to put on pounds which we will resolve to lose when New Years Day rolls around.  Some humans become depressed at this time of year which is clinically referred to as Seasonal Affective Disorder.  Not until 1984 was this affliction described in medical literature.  However this time of year has traditionally been a difficult time for me to resist overeating.  Increased exposure to light,  especially outdoors, and and increased exercise are thought to be helpful.  Also vitamin D supplements are useful.  Other treatments include melatonin and antidepressants which target seratonin levels.  I started taking a vitamin D supplement a few years ago when I read that it was helpful for prevention of cancer.  I found I felt better in the fall than previously.

So the battle continues with myself and the clock.  A friend who lived in Panama told me that the sun comes up at 6 a.m. and sets at 6 p.m. every day all year round.  Seasonal Affective Disorder wouldn't be a problem there at all.  I suppose consistency is nice but I love those days in June when it doesn't get dark until nearly 10 p.m.  It's all relative.

Love to all,
Marlena of Mohegan

What Turn Signal?

The week after my car reached 100,000 miles (and therefore running out of warranty protection) the directional signals decided they would not turn off by themselves anymore.  This is extremely annoying to me that I am at risk of being one of those old ladies who drive around oblivious to the turn signal blinking endlessly.  When I mention this to anybody who knows anything about fixing cars they have exactly the same responses.  First that it is extremely expensive to fix because of all the labor involved.  Second, nobody has the faintest idea of how to fix the problem.  I'm sure I could find a repair shop that would do it for mega bucks or should I save my money and just remember to turn them off EVERY BLESSED TIME I MAKE A TURN?????!!!!!!  

When I put on my facebook status this morning that I was back to work my daughter, the dear, commented that it is good for old people to have something to keep us busy!   You know that machine at the checkout at the supermarket that spits out coupons that it thinks you'll use?  Tonight it thought I'd like a coupon for DEPENDS adult diapers.  Notice the trend here?  Actually today someone told me I keep looking younger all the time.  Of course the person who said that was a psychiatrist and you never know about them.

Today was back on the healthy choices wagon.  I did pretty well.  I did not eat the pizza brought by the pharmaceutical rep.  I had only the salad and fresh fruit.  I did not snack on any crackers.  I did go over my daily calorie allowance but not too much.

 I don't know why it's so hard to rein myself in after a digression.  I have the same experience after Christmas.  Every year we have a Christmas Club at the Credit Union.  We limit ourselves to that money and do not charge any gifts. (We used to do that but we have reformed)  However I do have rather a spending frenzy before the holiday.  I go to stores that I avoid all year.  I enjoy being able to afford stuff.  Afterwards, when the money is spent, I have a hard time stopping.

  I've known people who were well off that were extremely stingy. I guess their secret to having money is to always live like they don't have any.  Similar are the thin people who always eat like they are dieting.  Then there are the people like this girl I used to work with in an office.  I was doing Weight Watchers.  She was pregnant and every day for lunch she'd have a big Italian sandwich and a huge bag of Cheetos.  She was a tiny thing that never seemed to get any bigger even though she was eating enough Cheetos for six people.  After she had her baby she did look fatter.  By the time she came back to work though, she'd somehow melted away to her former, tiny self.

Why am I rambling on about all this?  I guess to point out that life can drive you crazy if you let it.  There are so many things out of one's control in this world.  Everyone slips up now and then.  Get over it.

Love to all,
Marlena of Mohegan

Return to Earth

My week-long "Operacation"  has come to a close.  Tomorrow it's back to work and my routine.  Nabucco has been the most successful production the Taconic Opera has had so far.  We had a sellout crowd at the matinee today and have sold out next Saturday's performance at SUNY Purchase Pepsico Theatre.  I truly love doing opera.  Like my real job, we have a limited budget with which to work, but we manage to pull off something beautiful on stage.  (I'm only quoting others here).

It's incredibly cathartic to sing at the top of my lungs and filled with emotion.  On stage I'm surrounded by friends (truly) and we feel the love.  Afterwards it's a bit of a letdown to just walk around like a normal person again.

This week I did get to the gym as per my usual routine.  I strayed off the beaten path a bit with my eating though.  I neglected my food diary and actually ate a few (gasp) cookies today.  This digression however, is not a signal to just "throw in the towel".  Tomorrow I'll be back on track with my food diary and healthy eating.  That is, of course, the real requirement for success.  Formerly I might have been set off on a tangent of days or weeks of self loathing because I lapsed and soothing myself with comfort foods.  Breaking that chain quickly is the key.

It is not so bad to admit to human weaknesses.  After coming clean the important next step is to get up, shake off the guilt and continue the journey.  Healthy choices are rewards not punishments.

Love to all,
Marlena of Mohegan

Change of Pace

This week I am taking an "Operacation"!  That's my made up word for taking a week off from my real job for opera "Hell Week".  Yesterday we rehearsed for seven hours running through the show with both casts.  We tried out our costumes to get used to moving about in them.  Nabucco is the story of King Nebuchadnezzar from the Old Testament.  The chorus portrays Hebrew slaves.  I had a wardrobe malfunction with my veil so I have to reconfigure my design.

Today, Sunday, is a welcome day of rest because the next seven days and nights will be very busy.  When we did our previous production I took a week off from the gym.  I'm planning to stick with my gym routine this time because I actually feel more energetic when I exercise.  I also need to plan meals and snacks thus avoiding the temptation of fast food or junk food.  The chorus tends to congregate at a local diner after the evening performances.  Fortunately the menu there does have lots of healthy choices.

Since I am at the age where some physical changes are taking place I find I am having "hot flashes".  I keep telling myself that they are not as bad as menstrual cramps but there is no denying that they are annoying.  A coworker stumbled on a remedy she swears by.  She takes CVS brand  combination of Calcium, Magnesium and Zinc supplements three times a day.  She didn't take them for any reason except for trying to be more healthy but found her  hot flashes went away.  She mentioned this to her pharmacist who said she'd heard from lots of customers that had similar results.  So what have I got to lose?  I'll let you know how it works.  I've been taking them for about five days now but it takes a couple of weeks to work.  If course the tricky part is remembering to take one in the middle of the day.  My morning and evening pills are very organized but mid-day is kind of a craps shoot.  

I'm hoping my local followers will come to see me in the opera. Here is the link for more information, tickets and direstions
Taconicopera.org
 As you may or may not know, I chose the name Marlena because I am a bit of a drama queen at times.  I do enjoy the stage.  I love being a nurse too but it's nice to be someone else for a few weeks a year.

Love to all,
Marlena of Mohegan

Back on Track

First let me say that those four pounds I worried about last week are HISTORY!  Getting serious with my food diary made the difference.  I've been trying to increase my vegetable and salad intake and reduced the non-complex carbohydrates.  One of my friends suggested roasted beets.  I've never had them any way but canned or boiled but roasting is supposed to make them more flavorful.

My daughter made me some high protein caramel apple pancakes.  We got the  recipe from the blog "The World According to Eggface"  I won't plagerize her recipe here but you can go to her blog and get all her yummy recipes.  Her link is in the side bar under MY BLOG LIST.  .

I've succeeded in reaching one of my long-term goals!  I got a pair of jeans.  Actually I didn't even buy them.  We had a clothing exchange at church and I saw these jeans and thought they looked about the right size.  They were!  Of course when I modeled them for my family my daughter, always the ray of reality, asked "can you sit down in them?" Well, I could.  Getting up from the couch was a little tricky but successful!  It feels so good to wear something that isn't stretchy!  I can't remember when I wore jeans last but I'd have to say it's been more than ten years.  I don't mind admitting that my jeans would be considered "Mom Jeans" because they come up to my actual waist.  Nobody wants to see my butt crack anyway.

I am still going to Planet Fitness three days per week but I'm about to try something new.  I bought a book on yoga.  I could just go to a class but I want to try it on my own first.  Besides the book I bought has adaptations for those of us who are a little less flexible.  For one thing, my knees do not enjoy kneeling at all.  I'm hoping that I can work around this limitation.  A friend of mine is a yoga guru (or whatever they like to be called)  She has a special yoga room in her basement just for her own serenity!  I can't imagine where I'll find serenity in my house but I'll figure out something.  Usually the only time I have to myself is if I stay up after everyone else goes to bed.  That would be all right but if I get too relaxed that late at night I'll probably just fall asleep.  We'll see.

Love to all,
Marlena of Mohegan

"Let's Not Get Paranoid"

I've had my slip ups.  There are multiple habits that caused me to be obese and I have been starting to engage in again.  

#1  Night Snacking - sitting at the computer or watching tv with continuous nibbling of this and that.  

#2  Eating in the Car - what is it about a moving car that makes me want to eat?  

#3 Stress eating - the stress is no different whether or not I eat something.  

and a new habit

#4 Eating after exercising.  I am sometimes ravenous after my workout at the gym.  

I weighed myself about 10 days ago and was 2 pounds heavier.  Then, this week there were another 2 pounds.  Well this caused a RED ALERT!  This can not continue.  Time for reorganizing myself.  

I had been neglecting my food entries in My Fitness Pal.  I immediately started with that very day even though the total calories for that day were beyond what I should have eaten.  I removed the trash bag from my car.  I was dismayed to see all the wrappers of consumed snacks.  True there were no candy bars or Big Mac wrappers.  There were, however, protein bars, soy crisps and a Wendy's Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger.  NO, NO, NO!  I thought about taking a picture of the trash just to show how many wrappers were in there but I was too ashamed of myself.  

That night, after the gym, I bought some fresh fruit for my evening snack.  I've increased my fluid intake and I've recorded every morsel of food since then.  

Yesterday, at work, I bumped into Dr. Choi, my bariatric surgeon.  She was happy to see how well I move around these days.  I confessed to her that I had gained four pounds.  She replied "lets not get paranoid now"  but agreed that it was a wake up call for me.  She told me that my habits will make or break my success.  The next two years will determine whether or not my weight loss will be permanent.  She suggested not eating anything that comes in a package.  She also encouraged more fruits and veggies and less starchy carbs.  She mentioned crackers as a problem for a lot of her patients and I did not mention but mentally clicked off those graham crackers.  

While redesigning the blog I came across this picture from before my surgery.  It does keep me in perspective  in that four pounds is not so much.  It is equal to the weight of a half gallon of milk.  The other picture, taken today, shows that I'm much better off than I was in June of 2010!  So I will not be depressed about a little setback.  I will not comfort myself with unhealthy snacks.  I WILL keep track of my food and activity!  I WILL have a long, healthy life!

Love to all,

Marlena of Mohegan

Arms of Steel?

 One of the alumni attending our class reunion in July took lots of pictures.  I was happy to see one of my husband and me dancing.  (This was the first time I've ever gotten him to dance to anything besides a "slow dance")  I thought my arm looked a little unusual.  Now I do have lots of loose skin but there was something else...

 Lately I've been noticing that I can see veins in my arms and some muscle definition when I flex my hands.  I've never had anything like this in my entire life!  Now I'm a long way from this picture of an anonymous body builder but I am definitely showing progress from the weight training.  Speaking as a nurse who frequently has to access veins where none are apparent (like today for instance) I know the next time I need blood drawn it will be easier than previously.  

Don't worry friends and family.  I have no intentions of making myself into a steroid-popping exhibitionist.  It is just nice to see my hard work pay off.

Love to all,
Marlena of Mohegan

9-11 Ten Years Later

 Today was the ten year anniversary of September 11, 2001.  I lost a wonderful coworker that day.  Christopher Blackwell, a paramedic in Danbury,  Connecticut also was a New York City Fireman with Rescue 3 in the Bronx.  Only one helmet was all that was ever found of his entire unit.  This is a picture closeup of a commemorative tee shirt which was sold to raise money for his family.  I could not wear mine until last year because I was too big.

Last year I proudly wore my shirt on the 9th anniversary of 9-11. I had lost 60 pounds in three months and was feeling healthier than I had in years.  (That's me in the middle)

Today I put that shirt on again.  Its a lot bigger today than it was a year ago.  So far I've lost 166 pounds since my gastric by-pass.

I am proud to honor the brave heroes of that tragic day.  My own personal struggles do not compare with those of the families who so abruptly lost loved ones.  I saw on TV Christopher's daughter as she read his name at the New York City commemorative ceremony today.  She was wearing the uniform of the NYPD.  His son became a member of NYFD.  What a wonderful way to honor their father by their service.

September 11th, 2001 was a clear, cloudless day until those planes hit the towers.  The smoke and clouds of dust did not reach my home fifty miles from ground zero but the gloom and fear certainly did.  That day I cooked comfort food for my family.  I made homemade lasagne.  How like me to use food to soothe the fears of my children.  Throughout my life I have used oral gratification to ease pain and angst.

The endless news footage of the events at the three sites of tragedy continued to bombard us for weeks.  Today, ten years later, I cannot watch.  I can see the towers fall without looking.  I  see the gray clouds of dust billowing down the city streets.  Thousands who had escaped the towers ran in fear from those clouds.

I still have the urge to use comfort food to assuage stress and pain.  I don't know if I'll ever completely get over that habit.  I am better than I was ten years ago.  I did not make lasagne today.

Love to all, especially those who serve our cities and our nation,
Marlena of Mohegan.

Damn Those Graham Crackers and Full Speed Ahead!

I did NOT eliminate stress from my life in the past week.  In fact, I had two meltdowns complete with tears.  The first crisis was in response to a financial issue while at home.  The second crisis was on Friday at work after an unpleasant interaction with one of the ER doctors.  After I lost it the day didn't really improve much.  I struggled to regain myself but I could not keep up with my computer documentation.  This stresses me out more than the actual patient care.

Last week when I got three new patients in the psychiatric area all at once my response was to stuff myself with graham crackers.  We have little individual packs with two squares in our nutrition room.  They are a very handy snack but the calories add up if you eat two or three.  Well on Friday I told myself repeatedly that I was not going to soothe myself with graham crackers.  Oh they kept calling to me from their little cubby but I resisted.  I drank more water instead of eating.

By the way, I cooked some Swiss chard this week.  I bought the multicolored kind because it looked so pretty.  It wasn't bad.  Only one other member of my family ate it but I will definitely get it again.  I read online that if you cook it the same day its picked its even more delicious.  I'll have to find a farmer's market or farm stand that has same day pickings!  Maybe next year I'll try growing some myself.

I weighed in at the Virgin Healthmiles kiosk on Friday (before the day took the nosedive) and I was happy to see that I passed through my most recent plateau.  I've been struggling to lose the same five pounds for weeks now.  The scale just wasn't moving.  I kept on exercising and even started doing weight training again.  I've been told by people who do serious weight training that if you stress muscles to the limit within eight to twelve reps that your body responds by increasing your metabolism.  It did seem to kick start me in the right direction.  I can't quit now.  I want to lose at least 60 more pounds.  My goal, however, is not a weight.  I'm in this to be healthy for the rest of my life.

Love to all,
Marlena of Mohegan

Soothing Stress With Food

This week has been interesting.  First we had a rare east coast earthquake.  I didn't actually feel it myself but it sure got a lot of people excited around here especially because of the nuclear power plant nearby.  Then there is my ongoing lack of fiscal responsibility.  I have not been very organized with my family finances and it has been difficult making ends meet lately.  Of course my job as an ER nurse is typically stressful from time to time.  Then this weekend we had Hurricane Irene.  I'd been noticing how I react to stressors with food.  Usually I do this without necessarily feeling actual hunger.  I grab something easy and quick but not necessarily the best choice.  I have not turned to sugary snacks but I'm not having vegetables either.  When I have fruit like cherries or grapes I have a hard time stopping myself before I eat too many.  I get overwhelmed and I just want to stuff things in my mouth.

.
I have been getting posts from Obesity Action Coalition (OAC) on facebook.  Today there was one that really spoke to  me "Why Obesity Doesn't Fit Into a Bento Box".  Every time I've had a major weight loss I have always gained back more than what I'd lost.  This article goes into detail about why that happens.  Here is a link for the article http://www.huffingtonpost.com/will-aguila-md/emotional-eating_b_935289..  Obviously this is something for me to work on.

Truly exercise is part of the process I hadn't used before.  I missed a day at the gym on Saturday because of the hurricane.  It really bothered me that I would have gone too long between gym days so I went on Sunday.  Normally I save Sundays for church and family but church was cancelled due to widespread damage from the storm.  On Friday I made a trip to Manhattan.  I definitely noticed a difference from the last time I went to the city.  I got around pretty well including all the stairs to the subways.  My left knee got sore but nothing like before when both knees were screaming for mercy.

We have been parking offsite at work due to temporary closing of a parking garage.  We are transported by coach bus from the parking lot.  Today was such a nice, sunny day that I walked instead.  It took me about thirty minutes.  The bus isn't that much faster by the time I board and wait for it to leave!  I've been trying to keep my pedometer to over 7000 steps per day.  So the walk put me over my goal.  Unfortunately my drive home was more trouble than my walk.  There are still many roads blocked because of downed trees and wires.  Many traffic lights were not working.  I'm very lucky to have not lost power from the storm.  We had flooding in the neighborhood but our basement just got a little damp.

I'm going to work on the stressors.  I want to be healthy and stay that way.

Love to all,

Marlena of Mohegan

Humility is Always Around the Corner

Just when I'm poised on the boundaries of overconfidence I will be jolted back to reality.  Naturally after losing 163 pounds I hear plenty of positive feedback from my acquaintances.  My clothing is roomier and activity is easier.  It isn't hard to get carried away with myself.

I can always count on my mother to burst my bubble.  She loves me but she has a way of deflating my ego without meaning to.  Today she asked me if I was still losing weight.  I told her yes and gave her the total.  She said that she wondered because I looked bigger around the middle lately.  Thanks Mom.  (Maybe I need to stand up straight and keep my shoulders back).

Yesterday I was in the supermarket in the self-checkout aisle.  As I was finishing up the computer said "Please remove all items from the scanning scale".  I had no items on the scale.  It was my abdomen leaning on it.

Friday at work I was having trouble using the HMED computer program.  For some reason I could not type in commands.  I called ITG for help and they didn't know what was wrong and gave me the usual advice to reboot the computer.  I was about to do that and bent over to get at the power button because typing wasn't working.  I discovered that the keyboard now worked because my breasts were no longer leaning on the keys.

This Monday I walked into the locker room at work to find my locker and several others wide open and empty.  I asked aloud "am I fired?".  I was not fired but my locker was the victim of a water cooler flood from upstairs.  All my belongings were in bags in my supervisor's office.  Some things were soggy and had to be thrown out.  I had some spare clothing that needed to be laundered.  I took a picture of the lockers with my cell phone and posted it on Facebook..  My daughter informed me that that was the cleanest my locker had been in years.  I have to admit that she was right about that.  That doesn't meant it was easy to hear.

So thanks to my loved ones and to the computerized world in which we live I am well grounded in reality.  Just in case you were all worried.

Love to all,
Marlena of Mohegan

Martha Stewart I'm Not

I decided to make some healthy soup the other day.  I felt a need to increase my intake of vegetables and I made up my own recipe for white bean and kale soup.  I thought I'd share it here along with pictures of the process.

White Bean and Kale Soup

Slice an onion and brown in olive oil till brown and carmelized.  Add one or two minced garlic cloves

 Add two cans chicken broth, one large can diced tomatoes, one or two cans of small white beans plus one cup of red wine.  (I had some fresh tomatoes so I diced them up and threw them in the pot too.)

 One Smoked Pork Hock.  Use one and freeze the rest for another time.

 One large potato peeled and diced.

 Four cups Kale washed and chopped.

 Add all ingredients to the pot with the onions.  Season to taste.  I used about 1/2 tsp tumeric, freshly ground pepper and a sprinkle of salt.  Cook for about an hour to let flavors blend and vegetables are tender.

 

 There is such a variety of green leafy vegetables available in the average supermarket.  We should all eat more of these but I rarely do.  I don't even know what to do with them all.  I'm not really fond of cooked greens in a soggy lump on a plate.  I like raw spinach in salad and I like spinach cooked into lasagne or other pasta recipes. Things like Swiss chard, kale, beet greens and collards were never served in my home when I was growing up.  I've tried broccoli rabe a few times.  I sauteed it with garlic but it tends to be bitter.  Rachael Ray made it on TV once and she said you have to parboil it then discard the water to get rid of the bitter taste.  Then saute with garlic in olive oil. I'll try that next time.  I like fresh beets but does one use the tops along with the bottoms?  Beets seem expensive in the store though.  You pay about a dollar per beet in the supermarket.  I planted them once or twice but only got a few pitifully little ones.

One of the things that intimidates me about the other leafy vegetable is that you can't buy just a little bit.  The package of kale I bought was as about the size of a throw pillow.  Everyone says it cooks down but I used four cups in my recipe and I still had practically the whole bag.  Well it did cook down but even though it was supposed to be washed and trimmed there were still some of the ribs present that did not get soft enough.

Anyway, my soup was very tasty and at least two of my family members ate multiple bowls.  Next time I want to try using the Swiss chard that comes in mixed colors.  First I'll have to use up the rest of my kale.  .

Love to all,
Marlena of Mohegan

Your Fat. A Treasure Trove?

I heard on the news today that Bartolo Colon, a pitcher for the NY Yankees, had his shoulder injury treated with stem cells harvested from his fat?  This sounds way too good to be true.  After an internet news search I found that this little-known procedure was done in The Dominican Republic.  Colon is 38 years old and throwing heat like he's in his 20's.

I also saw other articles suggesting stem cell treatments for face lifts and breast augmentation.  Stem cell research was such a polarizing issue when scientists used fetal stem cells from aborted babies.  Anti-abortion activists  held back the progress in this field for decades.  Federal funding was withheld.

 Now, after all this time, we chunky types were chock full of stem cells all along?  This is a veritable bonanza!  With the soaring rate of obesity in this country we have an incalculable supply of this resource!  I am certainly happy and willing to donate as many of my fat cells as science can use.  Of course if they'd like to pay me that would be fine.  I'm ready.

Love to all,
Marlena of Mohegan.

Get PAID to Exercise? What a Concept!

My employer has just started using a new program to encourage the staff to be more healthy.  I signed up about three weeks ago and I love it.  Virgin Healthmiles helps us keep track of our exercising and make other healthy choices.  After one year we can earn $500.00!  When you sign up you receive a free pedometer.  You log in and download your steps.  Virgin keeps track of our progress.

My Planet Fitness routine works nicely with Virgin.  We are encouraged to get in at least 7000 steps per day.  Between my workday routine and my stationary bike I am doing that with extra!  I'm even doing extra walking on my off-gym days.  I like seeing all those steps add up.  One of my co-workers has worn her pedometer during some horizontal workouts at home (well, actually she didn't specify horizontal but I didn't ask) Exercise IS exercise.

What's in this for the employer?  Healthier, more productive workers. Check out the link and encourage your boss to sign up.

 http://virginhealthmiles.com

Love to all,
Marlena of Mohegan