I'm in Better Shape Than I Thought

Today I went to the gym and I was a little short of time.  I debated how I'd abbreviate my workout.  At first I thought about skipping the weight training but I didn't really want to do that.  I've been told that weight training helps boost metabolism (and burns more calories) better than aerobic exercise.  Then I decided instead of an hour on the stationary bike I could do a shorter workout on the elliptical trainer. It's been nearly a year since I'd attempted the elliptical.  Last March I could barely do 15 minutes and the machine kept pausing thinking I was stopping in spite of my best effort to keep going.  I was so winded that if I'd gone any longer I would have needed an ambulance!

So I decided to give the elliptical another try.  I've been trying to impact my knees as little as possible.  Lately one knee has a painful clicking sometimes when I go up stairs.  The knee felt pretty good today though.  I did 30 minutes without gasping for breath at all.  It was more of an effort than the bike because of the arm motion but I was feeling a pretty good endorphin rush by the time I stopped.  If I hadn't needed to get to opera rehearsal I could have kept going.  It was a cold day today but I had to take my coat off in the car because I was so warmed up.  The only down side was that my pedometer didn't register as many steps in those 30 minutes as I usually get in the same time on the bike.  I guess the action is smoother.

Currently we are working on Don Pasquale, a comic opera by Donizetti.  The chorus does a lot of running around while singing.  Think of a Bugs Bunny cartoon with a lot of slamming doors.  Sounds insane?  Probably.  Its lots of fun though.  I enjoy not being limited by my physical condition (or lack thereof)

In college I had a professor for an upper division class in sociology who looked like she was about 70 years old.  I wouldn't have been surprised if she was even older.  She was very well dressed and impeccably groomed.  She told us it she was trying to promote prolonging middle age.  At the time I was in my 20's and I thought that was a pretty funny statement.  Now, when I'm undeniably middle aged, I can see her point.  Yeah youth is nice while it lasts but this stage of life has its advantages.  Healthy living makes everything easier.  Staying active is being shown to combat mental decline in the elder years.  Since I probably won't be able to afford to retire anytime soon I guess I'd better keep my brain working as long as I can.

Love to all,
Marlena of Mohegan

Is "Fat Bashing" Really Politically Correct ?

Walt Disney World's Epcot Center has a new, misguided exhibit aimed at combating obesity.  See the link below from Weighty Matters, a blog by an obesity medicine doctor. See pictures from the exhibit and detail of their approach to the subject of weight management.  He is outraged as am I that Disney could be so cruel.
http://www.weightymatters.ca/2012/02/disneys-horrifying-new-interactive.html#comment-form

They have several exaggeratedly fat characters named The Glutton, The Snacker

and Leadbottom.  Naturally they are completely to blame for their afflictions by eating too quickly, too often and not exercising.  While I do not deny that these habits can be harmful there is certainly more to the equation.  I've seen children in the same family vary greatly in dimensions and not because parents fed one child any differently than the other.  There are the factors of processed food, environment, overly structured recreation and emotional problems.  So much junk food is marketed directly to children.  So-called fruit snacks are really just candy.  Juice boxes are mostly sugar.  School lunches are high in fat and carbs.  A child who is on a sports team may spend most of the game on the bench.  Wouldn't they be better off just running around playing hide and seek?

Disney even has a phone app called Habit Heroes that has self-righteous thin superheroes combating the evil fat people.  THIS IS INSANE!!!

I recall two recent disturbing animated movies had negative treatments of obesity.  The first was Monster House in 2006.  A haunted neighborhood house was really the reincarnation of a psychotic former circus fat lady.

The second was Wall-E in 2008.  While in the foreground is the theme of our trashing of the earth, the background theme was that all the survivors of the apocalypse became non-ambulatory fatties.  They didn't even notice they had a pool!

Even in  The Little Mermaid character the Sea Witch was fat!  Good characters are supposed to be thin!

I do not understand how this type of bigotry can be tolerated in a country where people are afraid to use the Pledge of Allegiance in school because it contains the word God and may offend people?  Why does no one care about offending the obese?  Does our fat insulate our feelings and emotions?  No.  Inside we cry.  We soothe ourselves with comfort foods.  Society would be more sympathetic if we turned to alcohol, pills or crack.  Bulimics and anorexics are perceived to be tragic.  The obese are merely thought to be lazy, gluttonous or stupid.

Wake up Fat Nazi's!  Fascist Germany tried eliminating the "Jewish Problem" by negative stereotyping and campaigns to isolate and humiliate the population.  Where are we headed?  Suppose some fat gene is discovered?  Will the obese be prevented from passing on the "evil hereditary affliction"?  This sounds extreme today but in twenty years?  Who knows?

So Disney World, the self-proclaimed "Happiest Place on Earth", has created an exhibit to demean and embarrass kids who struggle with their weight.  It doesn't sound so happy to me.

Love to all,
Marlena of Mohegan

Coat Tales

In a previous entry I went on and on about my quest to buy a warm coat.  I ended up with a coat that shed feathers all over everything and then another that started to self-destruct only days after I'd purchased it.  The summation was a coat ordered from Kohl's online.

The newest coat arrived a few days after it was ordered.  It fit and looked OK.  I didn't really love it though.  I wanted a coat I could love.  I put the receipt and packing slip in a zippered pocket and hung it up. The weather hasn't been very cold and the parka I found in the back of the closet seemed to suit my needs.  After two weeks of not finding an occasion to wear it I decided to return it to the store.  I figured there were other things I could buy with the money.

My father always loved to shop on Washington's Birthday.  Today is President's Day and sales abound in the stores.  Kohl's had some good buys and I picked out some new sneakers, a sweater and a pair of jeans.  WHOA!  Did I say JEANS?  Yeah, I did.

Trying clothes on in the store has never been my favorite thing.  My whole life has been filled with negative experiences in these little cubicles.  I especially hate trying on warm fall clothes when the temperature outside is 102!  In a humid climate like ours AC doesn't stop you from sweating when you are squeezing into an outfit meant for a brisk fall day.  My teenage years were marred by the trauma of trying to find fashionable clothing when anything larger than a 16 were "half sizes" that looked like cutting edge style for short Italian widows.  I'd done a lot of crying in store dressing rooms during those years.

Well today as I tried on my jeans I typically held my breath as I pulled up the zipper.  I found I didn't even struggle as I zipped.  They fit easily and looked nice.  I tried on the sweater next and thought I had chosen well.  I saw that I was smiling back at myself in the mirror.

I'd often poured myself into jeans during my younger days.  My tried and true technique was to lay on my bed and inhale while I pulled up the zipper.  I found my belly seemed to collapse into itself in the recumbent position.  Getting up off the bed was challenging but sometimes one needs to work at looking good.  I also discovered that jeans stretched out a little as I wore them.  After a few days I no longer needed to lie down to get them on.  I'd wear them as long as I could  knowing  that after laundering I'd be in for a struggle again.

I went to the gym today after my shopping and found it more crowded than usual during the daytime.  Lots of kids were off from school today and many showed up at Planet Fitness.  I've tweaked my weight training routine a little.  A friend who does a lot of weight training told me that our bodies adjust to our activities and after a while we don't get as much benefit from the workout.  Its important to have new challenges and work different sets of muscles.  I've changed my biceps curls to hammer curls and traded triceps presses for triceps extensions.  I keep hearing that I look thinner yet my weight has not changed.  Hopefully that means greater tone.

My lack of momentum in the weight loss area has caused me to renew my efforts in logging what I consume on myfitnesspal.com.  I tend to drift toward old, bad habits very easily.  As a former smoker I found for many years that if I spied a discarded, barely used cigarette on the ground I'd think about picking it up. As hideously revolting as that sounds my brain still wanted that nicotine bad enough to ignore the obvious negatives in the situation.  Likewise the other day someone had dropped an M&M on the sidewalk near the gym.  With nobody nearby the five second rule had definitely been exceeded.  It looked up at me with its shiny yellow candy coat intact and said "eat me".  I did not bend and pick it up yet I marveled at my desire in contrast to the revulsion I should have felt.

Lady Liberty here is a walking advertisement and I thought he sums up my day.  Making healthy choices liberated me from my prison of fat.  I have more freedom than I have had in many years.

Love to all,
Marlena of Mohegan.  

Down the Road

Today a former coworker of mine was at the ER visiting with a patient.  She'd had a gastric bypass about seven or eight years ago.  A mere shadow of her former self, she has kept her weight off and feels fantastic.  She walks about three miles per day and has an upbeat attitude.  I know she has not regretted her decision to have her weight loss surgery.

Later in the day I had a patient who was a bariatric surgery alumna who'd once weighed over 400 pounds.  She and I spoke about our loose skin.  Many people assume that extreme weight loss will result in a beautiful body.  It depends on your definition of beauty.  If you want nice taut skin with six-pack abds and a butt you can bounce quarters off of then I advise you to take a deep breath and get ready for reality.

For instance, if you blow up a balloon then let the air out the silhouette of the balloon will have changed.  The degree of change is related to your age.  Younger people have an edge here.  Since I've been deflated of 170 pounds there are a lot of body parts that have, shall we say, succumbed to gravity.  I previously discussed "the girls" and my constant battle to find comfortable support.  My upper arms, belly, butt and thighs have also gone south.

Many post-op patients opt for plastic surgery especially the belly and boobs.  Insurance will sometimes pay for these operations but require documentation by one's doctors of significant skin breakdown under the droopy body parts.  I was told to let my skin folds become red and irritated to have my doctor attempt to treat them and eventually turn to plastic surgery after other treatments fail.  Frankly I have a hard time letting myself get bad enough to need treatment.  I asked a plastic surgeon about back pain from trying to hold up the saggy stuff but he said that the insurance companies don't want to pay for the surgery for that reason alone. Even with the skin irritation documentation it is still difficult to get approval.

So my patient today said her daughters try to get her to have plastic surgery but she decided to wear good shapers or Spanx and use her money to have some fun.  This lady suddenly dropped her pants to her ankles (as I hastily pulled the curtain closed in her cubicle) to show me her legs.  She had a Spandex shaper that covered most of her thighs.  The skin above her knees was rather loose and wrinkly but you'd never notice this under her slacks.   She'd lost her husband of 47 years a few months ago and said that it gave her a new perspective on what really is important.  She told me to enjoy my new found healthier body and not to chase after perfection.

Well I definitely enjoy being more mobile.  I don't have much money to spend on big fun right now but I do have a bucket list of things I want to do.  I'll start with the small fun stuff and work up to the bigger ones later.

Love to all,
Marlena of Mohegan

First Down and Ten

Right now most of America is watching the Superbowl and eating way too much.  My family is watching the game mostly for the commercials.  Snacking here is pretty basic.  I watched the first half of the game but I didn't have enough interest to watch the halftime show.  I'm happy to be fairly immune to at least one annual food fest.  The grocery stores were mobbed yesterday.  I was surprised when I went to Shoprite and they were grilling hot dogs and selling them just where you walked in.

 Since Valentine's day is only nine days away the stores are filled with tons of chocolate.  I'm handling it though.  I walk right by.

A better snack is a Quest protein bar.  Only available online these bars are are much healthier and tastier than others I've tried.  Only 170 calories with 20 grams of protein.  The link below will take you to the website.  http://www.questproteinbar.com/       They are not paying me to advertise this.  Just saying.  They are pretty yummy.  My favorite is the cinnamon roll.  The chocolate is pretty good also.  

Recently at work we had an online learning module to teach the hospital employees to be more sensitive to the needs of the bariatric patient.  We see a lot of bariatric patients because of our weight loss surgery department.  It's interesting that we are encouraged not to use the word "big" when referring to larger size gowns, chairs, blood pressure cuffs and other equipment.  If larger sizes of these items are not available it is considered discrimination.  I am happy to see this type of awareness provided because over the years I have experienced much embarrassment and discomfort when there was no chair or gown big enough for me.  Unfortunately airlines are not so sensitive to this.  The last few times I flew on a plane I could not use the tray table.  I obviously needed a seat belt extender but only once did an airline hostess give me one without me having to ask  

  If you ask anyone who is or has been obese they could probably give you many examples of rudeness and discrimination they've experienced.  In this era of "political correctness" it is still permissible to make fat jokes.      The reasons for these attitudes toward the overweight escapes me.  Is it fear that we are contagious?  Is it contempt for our lack of self control?  People complain about obesity adding to the cost of health care.  While that is true so does smoking, drug abuse and alcoholism. Driving while under the influence of being overweight doesn't kill anybody.  People don't peddle high calorie food in back alleys to support their habits.  There is no illegal food trafficking or a White House appointed Fat Czar.  

Did anyone ever think of the health care costs incurred due to sports?  The thrill of victory verses the agony of defeat (or injury).  Extreme sports take extreme risks. The results can be pain, surgery, rehabilitation, limited mobility, disability and the occasional death.  I suppose it is more heroic to die on the football field after an illegal tackle than to allow your body to get out of control and finally do you in after many years.   

The most recent page I posted was a summary of my experience that has been chronicled in this blog.  A thought I had after that page was posted was that some people probably wonder how anyone could let themselves become so obese.  Well I didn't just jump into a fat suit one day.  Who would?  The truth is that it happens so slowly that you barely notice.  If your clothes are getting snug you can just buy a bigger size next time.  It is easy to look in the other direction when you walk by a mirror.  When you finally decided to do something and diet your body resists your efforts.  As a result you gain back more than was lost.  Look at celebrities who've been yoyo's such as Oprah, Roseanne, Marie Osmond, Kirstie Alley and Ricky Lake,  Even with corporate sponsors, personal chefs, personal trainers and media exposure they still struggle. 

 It isn't laziness folks.  It isn't a character flaw.  Its damn difficult.  If you do not have this struggle then you probably have other dragons to slay.  I hope you can rise above the challenges you face.  

Love to all, 

Marlena of Mohegan

Winter of My Imagination

Our surprisingly temperate January has given us some unusual opportunities to act like it isn't actually winter.  We've had a few bitter days and a rather small snowstorm last weekend but haven't really had much wintry precipitation since the storm in October.  On Saturday my grandson was enjoying the sunny day at the park and said to me "Grandma swing".  It had been many years since I'd been on any playground equipment but when Enzo insisted I couldn't refuse.  I was surprised that my bottom fit comfortably on the seat and I felt the child-like delight of swinging in a high arc.  

I'm rather relieved that the weather has been nice since my winter outerwear has needed replacing.  I'd bought a new jacket soon after Christmas when everything was on sale.  It was a really cute purple down-filled jacket with a faux fur trimmed hood and 70% off the original price. It was really warm but it had an unfortunate tendency to shed feathers everywhere.  (The tag actually said the filling was down AND feathers- apparently an important distinction.)  After two weeks of finding them in my car and all over my clothing I took it back to the store.  I had thrown away the receipt and so only could get a merchandise credit.  I found another coat in the store, a teal green microfiber jacket with only polyester filling. It was not quite as warm as the first jacket but was very comfortable.   

After less than a week of the new coat I found the zipper tape was coming loose.  I decided to take it back and found a receipt in my purse for what I thought was the first coat and triumphantly approached the courtesy desk and hoped to be walking out with my money so I could shop somewhere else.  It was, in fact, the receipt from the second coat and I again received a merchandise credit.  The store was now depleted of most of their winter coats since it is now time to move in the spring merchandise in time for the President's Day sales.  Nothing in the store interested me but a sales associate suggested I order one on the store kiosk.  Kohl's lets you order merchandise online and offer free shipping if purchased in the store.  I chose yet another coat and am awaiting its arrival.  

When I went to print my copy of the order the kiosk printed someone else's order for two bras.  I pointed this error out to a sales associate who replied "That isn't good".  Concerned that my personal information might pop out to the next customer we both went to tell the manager.  Foolishly thinking that after all this aggravation I might be entitled to some compensation from Kohl's after my never ending ordeal to simply buy a warm coat I related my saga to the manager.  Well trained in assertiveness, she politely refused me any compensation for my negative shopping experience in spite of my pleas for sympathy.  The kiosk, she explained,  was not actually under her jurisdiction. I reminded her that the two defective coats were purchased in her realm but I was dealing with the "broken record technique" and she repeated that nothing could be done.  The manager then told the sales associate to simply unplug the kiosk so it would then dump my information before it could be distributed to a passing identity thief.  

In the interim while waiting for my new coat I found a jacket at home in the back of the hall closet that nobody remembered buying.  It had the tags still attached and it fit me well.  I've been wearing that jacket for the past few days and when the new coat is delivered I might just take it back to Kohl's and buy some other clothes. I can use some new pants since I have some that are practically falling off.  

On a different note, I noticed yesterday at 5:30 pm that the sky was not completely dark.  I'm always pleasantly surprised each year when I notice that the nights are not as long they were in December.  Spring is a long way off but the lengthening days always have an uplifting effect on me.  I'm still hanging near the same plateau and need a jumpstart to get past it.  Maybe the brighter days will do it.  

Love to all, 

Marlena of Mohegan.  

A Day for Truth, Justice and The American Way

Today I had jury duty.  I was hoping to get selected for a jury because I felt it would be much easier than my job has been lately. (Besides the usual chaos in the ER we have an addition under construction with blasting three or four times per day.)  I thought it would be nice to hang out where nobody was crying or screaming and there were no biological odors or overhead pages. Jurors even get guaranteed time for breaks and lunch!  Count me in.  

I was assigned to a criminal case which will last about three weeks.  Seemed like a nice amount of time for a little sabbatical.  We spent few hours with the judge and the lawyers.  We were  instructed regarding procedure then questioned  to determine our experience and possible biases relating to the case.    I was not selected to serve on the jury and I am now excused from jury service for four years in federal court and six years in lesser courts. Today was the first time I made it into an actual courtroom jury box though, if only for a little while.  

I couldn't help thinking that two years ago today's experience would have been very difficult for me to endure.  Before my weight loss surgery the distance I walked from the parking garage would have felt like the Boston Marathon.  I would not have fit comfortably in any of the chairs.  I could not have walked up two flights of stairs from the jury lounge to the courtroom without stopping to catch my breath several times.  I would, as usual back then, have been the fattest person in the room.  

The courthouse environment was bit of a departure from my usual milieu.  There was a little coffee shop/news stand near the jury room.  It was run by a man who was visually impaired.  Customers told him what they were purchasing and how much money they had given him.  He returned the change faster than I could count it.  Surprisingly on display were  some local souvenir items and and some giant candy.  The weirdest was the worlds largest gummi worm!  

The thing was about two feet long.  Makes you wonder about their typical customer base.

I felt a real sense of community today.  There were people from all walks of life.  There was a man who was born and raised in Beijing, China where the concept of "innocent until proven guilty" is non-existent.  The commissioner of jurors told an anecdote about a woman, a naturalized citizen, who wanted very much to serve because in her native tongue there isn't even a word for jury. All verdicts in her birthplace were determined by the monarch or his officers and the accused had no rights to present a defense.  Not everyone is thrilled to get a jury summons.  Most were probably very happy to be excused.  For me, today was a little reminder of how lucky I am to have been born here in the USA.  It isn't a perfect nation but there are a lot of people working to help keep justice for all.

Love to all,
Marlena of Mohegan