Return to Earth

My week-long "Operacation"  has come to a close.  Tomorrow it's back to work and my routine.  Nabucco has been the most successful production the Taconic Opera has had so far.  We had a sellout crowd at the matinee today and have sold out next Saturday's performance at SUNY Purchase Pepsico Theatre.  I truly love doing opera.  Like my real job, we have a limited budget with which to work, but we manage to pull off something beautiful on stage.  (I'm only quoting others here).

It's incredibly cathartic to sing at the top of my lungs and filled with emotion.  On stage I'm surrounded by friends (truly) and we feel the love.  Afterwards it's a bit of a letdown to just walk around like a normal person again.

This week I did get to the gym as per my usual routine.  I strayed off the beaten path a bit with my eating though.  I neglected my food diary and actually ate a few (gasp) cookies today.  This digression however, is not a signal to just "throw in the towel".  Tomorrow I'll be back on track with my food diary and healthy eating.  That is, of course, the real requirement for success.  Formerly I might have been set off on a tangent of days or weeks of self loathing because I lapsed and soothing myself with comfort foods.  Breaking that chain quickly is the key.

It is not so bad to admit to human weaknesses.  After coming clean the important next step is to get up, shake off the guilt and continue the journey.  Healthy choices are rewards not punishments.

Love to all,
Marlena of Mohegan

Change of Pace

This week I am taking an "Operacation"!  That's my made up word for taking a week off from my real job for opera "Hell Week".  Yesterday we rehearsed for seven hours running through the show with both casts.  We tried out our costumes to get used to moving about in them.  Nabucco is the story of King Nebuchadnezzar from the Old Testament.  The chorus portrays Hebrew slaves.  I had a wardrobe malfunction with my veil so I have to reconfigure my design.

Today, Sunday, is a welcome day of rest because the next seven days and nights will be very busy.  When we did our previous production I took a week off from the gym.  I'm planning to stick with my gym routine this time because I actually feel more energetic when I exercise.  I also need to plan meals and snacks thus avoiding the temptation of fast food or junk food.  The chorus tends to congregate at a local diner after the evening performances.  Fortunately the menu there does have lots of healthy choices.

Since I am at the age where some physical changes are taking place I find I am having "hot flashes".  I keep telling myself that they are not as bad as menstrual cramps but there is no denying that they are annoying.  A coworker stumbled on a remedy she swears by.  She takes CVS brand  combination of Calcium, Magnesium and Zinc supplements three times a day.  She didn't take them for any reason except for trying to be more healthy but found her  hot flashes went away.  She mentioned this to her pharmacist who said she'd heard from lots of customers that had similar results.  So what have I got to lose?  I'll let you know how it works.  I've been taking them for about five days now but it takes a couple of weeks to work.  If course the tricky part is remembering to take one in the middle of the day.  My morning and evening pills are very organized but mid-day is kind of a craps shoot.  

I'm hoping my local followers will come to see me in the opera. Here is the link for more information, tickets and direstions
Taconicopera.org
 As you may or may not know, I chose the name Marlena because I am a bit of a drama queen at times.  I do enjoy the stage.  I love being a nurse too but it's nice to be someone else for a few weeks a year.

Love to all,
Marlena of Mohegan

Back on Track

First let me say that those four pounds I worried about last week are HISTORY!  Getting serious with my food diary made the difference.  I've been trying to increase my vegetable and salad intake and reduced the non-complex carbohydrates.  One of my friends suggested roasted beets.  I've never had them any way but canned or boiled but roasting is supposed to make them more flavorful.

My daughter made me some high protein caramel apple pancakes.  We got the  recipe from the blog "The World According to Eggface"  I won't plagerize her recipe here but you can go to her blog and get all her yummy recipes.  Her link is in the side bar under MY BLOG LIST.  .

I've succeeded in reaching one of my long-term goals!  I got a pair of jeans.  Actually I didn't even buy them.  We had a clothing exchange at church and I saw these jeans and thought they looked about the right size.  They were!  Of course when I modeled them for my family my daughter, always the ray of reality, asked "can you sit down in them?" Well, I could.  Getting up from the couch was a little tricky but successful!  It feels so good to wear something that isn't stretchy!  I can't remember when I wore jeans last but I'd have to say it's been more than ten years.  I don't mind admitting that my jeans would be considered "Mom Jeans" because they come up to my actual waist.  Nobody wants to see my butt crack anyway.

I am still going to Planet Fitness three days per week but I'm about to try something new.  I bought a book on yoga.  I could just go to a class but I want to try it on my own first.  Besides the book I bought has adaptations for those of us who are a little less flexible.  For one thing, my knees do not enjoy kneeling at all.  I'm hoping that I can work around this limitation.  A friend of mine is a yoga guru (or whatever they like to be called)  She has a special yoga room in her basement just for her own serenity!  I can't imagine where I'll find serenity in my house but I'll figure out something.  Usually the only time I have to myself is if I stay up after everyone else goes to bed.  That would be all right but if I get too relaxed that late at night I'll probably just fall asleep.  We'll see.

Love to all,
Marlena of Mohegan

"Let's Not Get Paranoid"

I've had my slip ups.  There are multiple habits that caused me to be obese and I have been starting to engage in again.  

#1  Night Snacking - sitting at the computer or watching tv with continuous nibbling of this and that.  

#2  Eating in the Car - what is it about a moving car that makes me want to eat?  

#3 Stress eating - the stress is no different whether or not I eat something.  

and a new habit

#4 Eating after exercising.  I am sometimes ravenous after my workout at the gym.  

I weighed myself about 10 days ago and was 2 pounds heavier.  Then, this week there were another 2 pounds.  Well this caused a RED ALERT!  This can not continue.  Time for reorganizing myself.  

I had been neglecting my food entries in My Fitness Pal.  I immediately started with that very day even though the total calories for that day were beyond what I should have eaten.  I removed the trash bag from my car.  I was dismayed to see all the wrappers of consumed snacks.  True there were no candy bars or Big Mac wrappers.  There were, however, protein bars, soy crisps and a Wendy's Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger.  NO, NO, NO!  I thought about taking a picture of the trash just to show how many wrappers were in there but I was too ashamed of myself.  

That night, after the gym, I bought some fresh fruit for my evening snack.  I've increased my fluid intake and I've recorded every morsel of food since then.  

Yesterday, at work, I bumped into Dr. Choi, my bariatric surgeon.  She was happy to see how well I move around these days.  I confessed to her that I had gained four pounds.  She replied "lets not get paranoid now"  but agreed that it was a wake up call for me.  She told me that my habits will make or break my success.  The next two years will determine whether or not my weight loss will be permanent.  She suggested not eating anything that comes in a package.  She also encouraged more fruits and veggies and less starchy carbs.  She mentioned crackers as a problem for a lot of her patients and I did not mention but mentally clicked off those graham crackers.  

While redesigning the blog I came across this picture from before my surgery.  It does keep me in perspective  in that four pounds is not so much.  It is equal to the weight of a half gallon of milk.  The other picture, taken today, shows that I'm much better off than I was in June of 2010!  So I will not be depressed about a little setback.  I will not comfort myself with unhealthy snacks.  I WILL keep track of my food and activity!  I WILL have a long, healthy life!

Love to all,

Marlena of Mohegan

Arms of Steel?

 One of the alumni attending our class reunion in July took lots of pictures.  I was happy to see one of my husband and me dancing.  (This was the first time I've ever gotten him to dance to anything besides a "slow dance")  I thought my arm looked a little unusual.  Now I do have lots of loose skin but there was something else...

 Lately I've been noticing that I can see veins in my arms and some muscle definition when I flex my hands.  I've never had anything like this in my entire life!  Now I'm a long way from this picture of an anonymous body builder but I am definitely showing progress from the weight training.  Speaking as a nurse who frequently has to access veins where none are apparent (like today for instance) I know the next time I need blood drawn it will be easier than previously.  

Don't worry friends and family.  I have no intentions of making myself into a steroid-popping exhibitionist.  It is just nice to see my hard work pay off.

Love to all,
Marlena of Mohegan

9-11 Ten Years Later

 Today was the ten year anniversary of September 11, 2001.  I lost a wonderful coworker that day.  Christopher Blackwell, a paramedic in Danbury,  Connecticut also was a New York City Fireman with Rescue 3 in the Bronx.  Only one helmet was all that was ever found of his entire unit.  This is a picture closeup of a commemorative tee shirt which was sold to raise money for his family.  I could not wear mine until last year because I was too big.

Last year I proudly wore my shirt on the 9th anniversary of 9-11. I had lost 60 pounds in three months and was feeling healthier than I had in years.  (That's me in the middle)

Today I put that shirt on again.  Its a lot bigger today than it was a year ago.  So far I've lost 166 pounds since my gastric by-pass.

I am proud to honor the brave heroes of that tragic day.  My own personal struggles do not compare with those of the families who so abruptly lost loved ones.  I saw on TV Christopher's daughter as she read his name at the New York City commemorative ceremony today.  She was wearing the uniform of the NYPD.  His son became a member of NYFD.  What a wonderful way to honor their father by their service.

September 11th, 2001 was a clear, cloudless day until those planes hit the towers.  The smoke and clouds of dust did not reach my home fifty miles from ground zero but the gloom and fear certainly did.  That day I cooked comfort food for my family.  I made homemade lasagne.  How like me to use food to soothe the fears of my children.  Throughout my life I have used oral gratification to ease pain and angst.

The endless news footage of the events at the three sites of tragedy continued to bombard us for weeks.  Today, ten years later, I cannot watch.  I can see the towers fall without looking.  I  see the gray clouds of dust billowing down the city streets.  Thousands who had escaped the towers ran in fear from those clouds.

I still have the urge to use comfort food to assuage stress and pain.  I don't know if I'll ever completely get over that habit.  I am better than I was ten years ago.  I did not make lasagne today.

Love to all, especially those who serve our cities and our nation,
Marlena of Mohegan.

Damn Those Graham Crackers and Full Speed Ahead!

I did NOT eliminate stress from my life in the past week.  In fact, I had two meltdowns complete with tears.  The first crisis was in response to a financial issue while at home.  The second crisis was on Friday at work after an unpleasant interaction with one of the ER doctors.  After I lost it the day didn't really improve much.  I struggled to regain myself but I could not keep up with my computer documentation.  This stresses me out more than the actual patient care.

Last week when I got three new patients in the psychiatric area all at once my response was to stuff myself with graham crackers.  We have little individual packs with two squares in our nutrition room.  They are a very handy snack but the calories add up if you eat two or three.  Well on Friday I told myself repeatedly that I was not going to soothe myself with graham crackers.  Oh they kept calling to me from their little cubby but I resisted.  I drank more water instead of eating.

By the way, I cooked some Swiss chard this week.  I bought the multicolored kind because it looked so pretty.  It wasn't bad.  Only one other member of my family ate it but I will definitely get it again.  I read online that if you cook it the same day its picked its even more delicious.  I'll have to find a farmer's market or farm stand that has same day pickings!  Maybe next year I'll try growing some myself.

I weighed in at the Virgin Healthmiles kiosk on Friday (before the day took the nosedive) and I was happy to see that I passed through my most recent plateau.  I've been struggling to lose the same five pounds for weeks now.  The scale just wasn't moving.  I kept on exercising and even started doing weight training again.  I've been told by people who do serious weight training that if you stress muscles to the limit within eight to twelve reps that your body responds by increasing your metabolism.  It did seem to kick start me in the right direction.  I can't quit now.  I want to lose at least 60 more pounds.  My goal, however, is not a weight.  I'm in this to be healthy for the rest of my life.

Love to all,
Marlena of Mohegan